With only eight days until Christmas everyone is in the Holiday Spirit and I am absolutely sick of it. Now don't mistake me as some Scrooge, I love Christmas and it's capitalistic ploys as much as the next person, it's that a conglomerate of soulless people who shall remain nameless have decided to be the Scrooges of the season and assign project after project, paper after paper, and inane test after inane test. Now normally I would be frustrated and would feel yet another piece of my spirit become emotionally detached, but this week seemed to be the semester's-worth of paper's that broke the passive-aggressive girl's back. So I sat quietly in my seat all day, silently praying for God to smite every damn person in the school because that was how freaking done I was at that particular point, and wondered what the administration would do if I just went home at the end of the day and never came back. While I was doing all this pondering I was sending very angry, all-caps texts to my mother, in which I demanded that she come and tell the principal that "she has got to get her staff the hell under control" along with: "pick me up right now," "homeschool me," and, "help me stage a coup."
I was not surprised that she was waiting in the formal sitting room for the inevitable rant that comes with the last week of school before Christmas Break. Now this would not have to occur if teachers didn't have a giant bug up their nose and seem to think that they're homework is the only thing you have to do that week. When absolutely every teacher believes that students just end up surrounded in a sea of homework, crying into their pillow and contemplating whether or not a high school diploma is even worth it. After all, that thing is really just a piece of fancy paper with your name on it. I could make one of those at the printer store and then go to Panera afterwards. But back on subject, I have to take six tests in two days, and have a research paper due, that my teacher gave us two weeks to work on. Jesus Christ no wonder the American school systems can't keep kids in them until graduation! You're working kids like dogs every damn second of every damn day! Poor bastards don't even get a chance to sleep. And most of us high school kids also have jobs, and places we volunteer, and school clubs because God forbid you don't join a club!
In conclusion: High School Teachers, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Don't forget to tell Santa what an insensitive jerk you are.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
The Five Stages of Grief: As Told by Someone Whose Laptop Just Broke
Today was supposed to be wonderful. It is a snowday! Nothing bad should be allowed to happen on snowdays! And yet, my laptop Frederick just took a dive off of my bed down to the cold, cruel floor. Alas, he is broken and so is my heart. Anyways, I have found myself experiencing the five stages of grief, and belief this could be a valuable guide to others who have just lost a treasured electronic companion.
1. Denial. The first feeling is always that this horrible occurrence could not have happened to you. You are not one of them, you take care of your precious, give it cute names and an appreciative pet once in a while. But no, the disastrous disaster that you have witnessed did just happened, and you will be left trying to salvage your baby off the sidewalk, or the floor of a McDonalds, all while loudly telling onlookers "it's fine, it's fine, it's not broken, it has never broken in the past." When you see the damage though you will let out a shriek, immediately moving into the second stage.
2. Anger. "Betrayal! Betrayal you stupid, useless hunk of metal!" I yelled at my computer when I realized the damage done by it's Reichenbach fall could not be fixed by either pushing the two pieces back together or duct taping them together in a worst case scenario. Anger is a very reasonable feeling when an electronic that you have grown to love suddenly dies on you. However you must remember that it didn't want this any more than you did.Also it is probably your fault.
4. Bargaining. After you have gotten over the majority of your sadness, you will always be sad for your lost love, you move into bargaining. Being willing to give anything for your dead electronic to come back from the Apple Store in the sky. Or maybe the Best Buy. I'm not sure where you shop. To be honest I don't think this actually happens in an electronic death, this stage my be reserved for real death only.
5. Acceptance. This usually happens when your new electronic arrives or when the man from Geek Squad says he can fix your laptop and that it will be ready by tomorrow morning. However if they say they will have to send it away to their repair factory and it will be two to three weeks, read steps 1-4 again until your fixed tech baby arrives in a Fedex box at your front door ready to be cuddled and told how brave he was.
1. Denial. The first feeling is always that this horrible occurrence could not have happened to you. You are not one of them, you take care of your precious, give it cute names and an appreciative pet once in a while. But no, the disastrous disaster that you have witnessed did just happened, and you will be left trying to salvage your baby off the sidewalk, or the floor of a McDonalds, all while loudly telling onlookers "it's fine, it's fine, it's not broken, it has never broken in the past." When you see the damage though you will let out a shriek, immediately moving into the second stage.
2. Anger. "Betrayal! Betrayal you stupid, useless hunk of metal!" I yelled at my computer when I realized the damage done by it's Reichenbach fall could not be fixed by either pushing the two pieces back together or duct taping them together in a worst case scenario. Anger is a very reasonable feeling when an electronic that you have grown to love suddenly dies on you. However you must remember that it didn't want this any more than you did.
4. Bargaining. After you have gotten over the majority of your sadness, you will always be sad for your lost love, you move into bargaining. Being willing to give anything for your dead electronic to come back from the Apple Store in the sky. Or maybe the Best Buy. I'm not sure where you shop. To be honest I don't think this actually happens in an electronic death, this stage my be reserved for real death only.
5. Acceptance. This usually happens when your new electronic arrives or when the man from Geek Squad says he can fix your laptop and that it will be ready by tomorrow morning. However if they say they will have to send it away to their repair factory and it will be two to three weeks, read steps 1-4 again until your fixed tech baby arrives in a Fedex box at your front door ready to be cuddled and told how brave he was.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House
I did not think it would be possible for me to love the Ronald McDonald House than I did before. Then I arrived and saw it all dolled up and ready to celebrate the holiday seasons. The House is a large facility that serves as a home for the families of children who are in the local Children's Hospital, one of the top-ranked in the country. These families come from all over, from our neighboring states to the far corners of the world. Some don't speak English, (I translate for a family from Honduras who only speaks Spanish) and most know absolutely no one in this new city. They also have a child who is sick, and many have other children too. In the mix of all this comes Christmas. With everything that is happening in these family lives it seems that the Christmas mood would be hard to find in the Ronald McDonald House.
That was until I walked in on Thanksgiving night for my shift and was greeted with an absolutely beautiful scene. The outside had been decorated with lights but they had been up for several weeks, so I wasn't expecting any change. I was in for a large surprise. Christmas lights, bows, garlands, and wreaths adorned every wall, banister, and balcony in the main lobby. The trees had the grandeur of nothing I had ever seen before, although I have deemed them the Rockefeller Christmas trees of the House.
As I worked in the house that evening I discovered that the lobby was not the only place that had been decorated to look like the North Pole. Every time I turned a corner I was greeted with a surprise. A family room with a tree and a snow village lit up around the balcony, lights strung in the breezeway, the West Wing kitchen covered with bows and bells. Perhaps the best surprise was the large Christmas village, complete with working train that runs three times a day. It took two days to set up and after seeing it I think I can definitely step up the small village in the bay room window of my family's breakfast room.
Talking to people around the house everyone seems to be just a little bit happier, their eyes a little bit brighter, kids who are normally seen with a frown on their face light up when they see the trees and decorations. As a person who loves Christmas it shows me just how much the Christmas cheer really can get everyone in the spirit of the holidays. And while the families at the House may still have sick children, mounting medical bills, family far away, and another life they wish they could be living, the workers of the Ronald McDonald House have managed to make their season a little brighter. So this year I will smile a little bigger, ask a few more people how I can help them out, and generally just sprinkle a bit more Holiday cheer at the House.
That was until I walked in on Thanksgiving night for my shift and was greeted with an absolutely beautiful scene. The outside had been decorated with lights but they had been up for several weeks, so I wasn't expecting any change. I was in for a large surprise. Christmas lights, bows, garlands, and wreaths adorned every wall, banister, and balcony in the main lobby. The trees had the grandeur of nothing I had ever seen before, although I have deemed them the Rockefeller Christmas trees of the House.
As I worked in the house that evening I discovered that the lobby was not the only place that had been decorated to look like the North Pole. Every time I turned a corner I was greeted with a surprise. A family room with a tree and a snow village lit up around the balcony, lights strung in the breezeway, the West Wing kitchen covered with bows and bells. Perhaps the best surprise was the large Christmas village, complete with working train that runs three times a day. It took two days to set up and after seeing it I think I can definitely step up the small village in the bay room window of my family's breakfast room.
Talking to people around the house everyone seems to be just a little bit happier, their eyes a little bit brighter, kids who are normally seen with a frown on their face light up when they see the trees and decorations. As a person who loves Christmas it shows me just how much the Christmas cheer really can get everyone in the spirit of the holidays. And while the families at the House may still have sick children, mounting medical bills, family far away, and another life they wish they could be living, the workers of the Ronald McDonald House have managed to make their season a little brighter. So this year I will smile a little bigger, ask a few more people how I can help them out, and generally just sprinkle a bit more Holiday cheer at the House.
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